SMOSH - Ian's Breakfast
by Mag8889
Summary: Oh Ian!... The story is aresult of a disturbing day and dissapointment with my fav YouTubers today for the dessert. I have to get more distance to this stuff. I think the story is pretty decent? I don't care! I had my satisfaction! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!


_This is written not to please anyone, except me. I felt upset by many things today and at the end of the day, with Ian's weight. I'm not to judge other's weight really. But I get attached to my favourite artists and it hurts to see Ian getting slowly fat. I don't want any comments from 14 year olds... I love them both for their talent and performance... I just get dissapointed easily and I have right for that._

I wrote this story as an emotional catharasis for my dissapointment with Ian's weight and last few Smosh episodes not relly funny for me :/ I guess I'm too old for this stuff but whateva.

I think some of you may find this storry pretty amusing... or disturbing... 

Ian struggled to fit in his best jeans but with a poor result. They just didn't want to zip! A few more jerks and it was all clear and borrowing pants from Anthony would make the situation even more obvious...

"Well, I guess this time it's for real..." He said to himself and got a glimpse of his figure in a mirror. And mirrors always tell the truth.

"Hey, Ian! Hurry up!" Anthony's voice was rushing him.

"Just a minute!" He replied anxiously and pulled out some other random pair of jeans out of the closet. "It has to do for now!"

As they were going towards the car, Anthony kept on being completely silent. That could mean that he was either secretly laughing at Ian's tight butt section or was totally revising their upcoming meeting plan. Anthony was always the more disciplined one so probably the second thing...

There was no big deal about the whole meeting. Some new organization stuff, new merch and some possible collaborations at the horizon. Ian had very little to say this time. The half dim light of the small conference room and monotone but focused Anthony's voice kinda put him into sleep...

Beep! He raised his head suddenly as the sound of someone's cell phone broke the overal trance atmosphere. He blinked his eyes a few times and looked up. Anthony's smiling face was there. It felt a bit out of the place...

They went back to the car in complete silence again. Ian started expereincing surprising chilly breeze out of nowhere. He looked at the sky but it was perfectly clear and sunny... And the air appeared foggy, except there was no visible fog or even an actual cloud.

"I'm seeing things..."

He gave Anthony a gaze but his friend just stared and smiled again.

Ian closed eyes for a moment and shook his head. He must had been tired...

"Hey! Ian! Wake up!" Anthony's voice sounded calm. "We gotta go! I made some eggs!"

Ian yawned and turned to the side. Was this meeting today? Wha...

"Anthony... But the meeting was yesterday." He murmured and tried to sleep some more.

Cosy warmth of sheets was so mild and so nicely dissolving any thought and anxious concerns about today's meeting... Meeting... What? He plunged into semi-dream stage and started drifting towards the sea of the full slee...

"Ian! Get your ass off the bed!"

"What?!"

He plunged out of the bed, almost collpasing to the floor. His brain lost balance for a moment. He threw the sheets on the mattress and sneaked out of the bedroom.

Anthony was moving around in a rush. He seemed to be preparing to the meeting really serously.

"Umm... I..." Ian felt kinda out the place. He has prepared something too and they discussed together a day or two ago. But that wasn't all? Apparently. He felt kinda werid. He stared at Anthony in the distance. Like in a trance.

"What are you doing? Go eat the eggs and prepare." Commanded irritated Anthony.

"Whatever you say, boss!"

Anthony was obviously in a bad mood. Or maybe he was close to a panic attack? Or maybe the ideas they prepared togehter suddenly weren't THAT good?

Ian was still pretty sleepy and not really concerned about such stuff. He ate the breakfast so generously prepared by his friend...

When he fianlly started putting the pants on...They just... didn't fit... Not like half of an inch that you can go by with getting rid of a button... He could not fit them at all. Nothing could be squeezed higher than a half of a thigh!

Ian struggled for a minute and then checked if the pants were his or Anthony tried another of his jokes... No he didn't!

Ian looked for another jeans but to his surprisethis ones also didn't fit! He felt his breath becomes a bit more shallow so he calmly put these back and reached for the ones that still seemed clean.

He swore when he obviosuly couldn't pull them over his butt.

"Ian! Hurry up!" Anthony's voice sounded irritated but strangely muffled.

Pant-struggler replied something quickly and almost dived into the depths of the closet. There must had been something to put on!

Beep! Beep! Alarm clock woke him up. He yawned and turned to his back and streatching. A big day today! Hopefully everyting will go well at the meeting! He got up calmly while trying to reherse his dream... It felt uncanny... Kinda deja-vu...

He heard some noises outside his bedroom.

"Mornin' Anthony!" As usually, his friend was the one who got up earlier.

Silence.

Apparenly Anthony was too busy with his "preparations". They decided he would be the talker on this one and Ian felt like it was right.

He stood up on the floor and almost immediatelly collapsed.

"Auch! Damn it Anthony!" *Someone* put pants up to his knees and this is how he tried to walk. Ian fought frantically to unravel tight pants and free his legs. After a hard struggle he threw all that stuff to the ground and marched out of the bedroom.

"Dammit Anthony!" He shouted while at the corridor but there was no response. It seemed like there ws no one in the house.

Ian froze and wrinkled his forhead. He'd swore that he heard some noises... He looked around but no one was there...

"Hey Anthony! Nice one! Your best prank!"

That wasn't the best prank really. Anthony wasn't the best prankster in Ian's opinion. However, he tried with this one...

"Hey Anthony... We gotta go! I'll go myself if you won't!"

Quiet. Silence was too obvious... He sighted and stood there for a second more or two and finally turned to enter the-

"Eat your eggs Ian!" Anthony's face grew over him.

Ian made a muffled noise and felt really short all the sudden. Anthony's eyes were creepishly angry like never before.

"H- Hey..."

"Eat your breakfast Ian..." Said Anthony more politely, not even blinking with his piercing eyes.

Ian's breath shortened again and a wave of anxiety tighted his chest for good.

"Anthony... That was a great joke. Let's just get over it, allr-"

"Eat the BREAKFAST!" Anthony's eyes went red. He pulled a plate of something greenish from behind hia back and shoved it under Ian's face.

Ian started breathing heavily. When he looked at green goo on the plate and then at his friend's face... Anthony's eyes were still red.  
Ian took a step back but was paralysed with fear. This couldn't had been the best episode of "Punk'd" even with 6 didgit budget!

Tall figure of demonish man went darker and Ian almost lost his mind. He rushed to run, forced by his primal instincts...

Anthony's mouth started opening like in a B rated horror movie, except Ian could get a glimpse of a devilish face in much too good detail. He also noticed two hands with claws stretching to reach him as the plate with green goo flew to the floor... It also turned red...

"Hey, Ian! Get up!" Anthony opened the door in a pretty good mood. "I just got a phone call from the director and..."

Ian didn't stop screaming. Much too long.

He only calmed down after two hours and endless comforting sessions from his girlfriend and Anthony who was allowed closer with big hesetation.

He hasn't eaten anything until he felt mush too weak. He refused to eat scrambled eggs for next few months and went for a diet. Forever...


End file.
